The Art of Deference

Be kindly affectioned one toward another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another. —Romans 12:10

Deference means to put the other person’s preferences ahead of your own.  Allow them the first privilege. “You may go through the door first.”

Abraham practiced deference when he and Lot came to a parting of the ways in Genesis 13:8-9.  He told Lot, “You make your choice, and I’ll take what’s left over.”

This is what Paul meant when he commanded the Philippians to “esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (2:3-4).

Texas Ranger baseball player Josh Hamilton has battled the demons of drug and alcohol addiction. So when his team won their playoff series in 2010, Hamilton was concerned about the postgame celebration. He admitted that it’s not good for a recovering alcoholic to be in the midst of a shower of champagne. However, instead of champagne, his teammates stocked the locker room with ginger ale so Hamilton could be included in the celebration. What a great picture of putting others’ needs above your own.

Next time you are faced with a decision involving someone else, give them preference over your own needs.